A few years back I asked Mom what she remembers of the hard parts of raising my 3 brothers and me. She didn’t hesitate and said, “Y’all are wonderful. I couldn’t be prouder. I only have good memories of each one of you.”
It wasn’t the answer I expected. Her memories of me are better than my memories of me. When I expressed surprise, her response gave clarity, “Besides, you were children.”
Besides, you were children. Without a doubt, my brothers and I wore Mom out some days. She remembers VICTORIES, not the draining skirmishes.
Our first experience with disrespect from a child throws us off. It’s like a switch got flipped: I don’t know what’s happened. . . He used to just do what I said. . . I know she hears me when I call her. . . Now he uses this tone with me. . .
When we’re in the thick of it—teaching our child to listen, follow rules, obey a direction—it is discouraging and disappointing to receive disrespect. It hurts. However, I don’t think hurt registers first in our heart. We feel frustration; we didn’t get what we want. Or, if we’re really honest, we didn’t get what we think we deserve–respect.
Our child needs us to help him learn what respect is—what it looks like, how it feels to receive it, and what it says to the person he respects. Our home is the primary training ground.
Respect is built. We have to gain our child’s respect. Today, I’ve released the 11th video in “The Will” series. It’s less than 10 minutes, so listen or watch and pass it along to your friends!
Here’s Video #11 — Six Practical Ways to Gain a Child’s Respect.
Here’s Audio #11.