“But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.”
Last week our oldest son Terrell began a semester abroad in France. Yes, I am thrilled for him, but I had to say good-bye, again. As he moved through the line toward the security scanner, I inched my way forward on the other side of the rope, at a distance. Terrell would glance over and smile at me, patiently understanding my need for nearness. Then he gave us a final wave and was gone. And, yes, I cried – again. (Hopefully, this is my last teary blog for a while!)
Until a few weeks ago, I hadn’t allowed myself to dwell on the fact that he would be in another COUNTRY for almost 4 months…REALLY on his own. Only one truth gave me peace: God is with him. Believing this, I knew I didn’t need to be.
It’s funny; the past few weeks I’ve had a recurring memory of Terrell’s first day of elementary school. It was a new school for him, I only knew one parent in his class, and parents had to let their child out at the school entrance. So, I pulled up to the school; told him I loved him for the umpteenth time; a teacher opened his car door; and Terrell walked into the school. I followed the cars around the circle, pulled over into a parking place and cried.
It was the same feeling I felt at the airport…15 years later: He’s on his own.
We experience this a lot as moms, don’t we? Our child goes to a new friend’s house, starts a new activity, goes to a new school, moves to a new town… We have a choice. We can worry or we can pray. We can fear the unknown or we can trust God.
Every time I begin to worry, I try to remember to turn my worry into a prayer. Sometimes I know what to pray and sometimes I ask God to show me what to pray. Then I pray for myself, asking the Lord to grow my faith and my trust in Him. “Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust…” (Psalm 40.4)